The Broken Things, the Ongoing Flows,,

I miss my old office, the one with the tulip logo on the roof..

It seems very organized, very comfortable...

The abundance stock of office supplies,
The perfectly working fax,
The cool phone,
The well designed rhythm,
The clear procedures and standards,,

I just miss them all,,

*well,, sometimes people just keep remembering something which is too far away.. :p

I Would Stay

wew!! I love this song!!! :D

A LOT!!

been searching for the title for a while (well, I'm a forgetful person, see? :p)

I first heard the song in a concert in westergasfabriek, few minutes before I saw a performance of ... (forgot the name ;p) -an Indonesian Ska Band who sing Anjing Kintamani.

and I fell in love with the song instantly, right on the spot..

For a dutch band, I think the song is awesome (and even if the band is american, or english.. ;p)

here is the lyrics:

I Would Stay by Krezip

if this is true, i thought then, what will i think
will i stay, but rather i would get away
i'm scared that, i won't find a thing
and afraid, that i'll turn out to be alone, but i

i have to learn, have to try, have to trust i have to cry
have to see, have to know that i can be myself, yeah

and if i could, i would stay
and if they're not, not in my way
i'll stare here, in the distance
but i'll grow up to be just like you, yeah
i'll grow up to be just like you, yeah

i see it all i'm sure but
do i know what's right
i thought i knew but it turns out the other way
i am scared that i won't find a thing
and afraid that i'll turn out to be alone, but i

i have to learn, have to try, have to trust i have to cry
i have to see, have to know that i can be myself

and if i could, i would stay
and if they're not, not in my way
i'll stare here, in the distance
but i'll grow up to be just like you, yeah
i'll grow up to be just like you

i want to tell you
why would i try to
you are all that i can see now
why would i try to

and i want to tell you
why would i try to
you are all i can see now
i know i'll try to

i have to learn, have to try, have to trust i have to cry
i have to see, have to know that i can be myself

but if i could, yeah, i would stay
and if they're not, not in my way
i'll stare here, in the distance
but i'll grow up to be just like you, yeah
i'll grow up to be just like you
like you

When Shoulders Meet Shoulders

An event today made me realize how much I miss my old days..

*and, at the same time, reminded me that such period won't ever happen anymore (not in the short run..)

The event really stroke me to the point of my weakness that my tears wouldn't even bother to stop falling for few minutes...

Well, yes, I miss you guys.. A lot.. (and I now realized that you are irreplaceable..)

And life must go on.., and it is not for complaining.. :)

...

I have to be more careful next time: happily facing the shoulders' meeting... (the declared war between arrogance..)

It's my world now..
I have to face it happily.. :)

...

dika
*it's good enough that I still have my fairy god mother, who will laugh with me for every nonconstructive blabbering that I told.. -and time will come when I can't even depend on it anymore.. :)

The Feeling

*image from Corbis

One day, during a messenger conversation, a friend of mine told me how much she miss me. She told me a story of dialing my number several times before realizing that I won't be using that number anymore (not in a short run anyway, that's the meaning of 'back for good' :p)

To me, that was exactly the kind of conversation which will give me an awkward feeling.

Being me, and know how things will go when a farewell happens, I would be the least person who could waive the sadness coming from from the farewell.

On the other hand, I also believe that showing my sadness would make the feeling of my friend get worse (I don't know where this believe came from, it just happens to be that way..)

In that kind of situation, surely, my very first reaction is to cheer my friends up:

say that things will get better

say that she will meet another friends

say that we would meet again sometime

And other kind of things which I believe will comfort her (although some of the things -like I will meet her again- are quite difficult to actually happen -problem is, thing changes, and NL-indonesia isn't that close, and, even if she is right here, in this country, this country is sooo BIG)

I wish I could say those words to myself now, for I'm missing her so much, her, and everyone else...


*better not browsing too much on friendster next time! :p

Merci Beaucoup!!

One thing that I remember instantly when I think about my past is my lack of gratitude;

which is how I (did not really) appreciate things around me.

I happened to be someone who thought that every little thing around me was a normal thing:

The clean street (which also means clean from water ^^;;);
The organized (and clean) queen's day;
The quiet traffic;
The train with five minutes delay;
The quiet and smooth train;
The free newspapers in train;
The drinkable tap water;
The warm water from the tap;
The super cool colleagues and super super cool bosses;
The representable company;
The cheerful colleges;
The unlimited internet;
The abundant number of computers;
The reasonable amount of unreasonable teachers (well, okay, the great teachers);
The 30 days lending period from a library;
The 10 maximum books that could be borrowed from a library;
The quiet neighbors (especially when I cook);
The great great friends;

and many more...

In case you were involved in in all of those miracle, I want to say 'many many thanks!!' - that was really really a wonderful experiences.. :)

dika
alhamdulillah..

About the Language

Why do I write this blog in English?

Because, currently, I hardly use English in my real life,,

Not being a native speaker, it will be easy for me to forget my English.

So the best way to retain my English skill is by keep using them, in my blog for instance -and people who are involved in this blog speak English fluently, so I have no reason for keeping my story for Indonesian audiences only :)

The Beginning

It's just the end of the old episode, me, still struggling to adapt in a new place..

I find it's difficult hard to forget my past happy memory (and every time I tried, I just fell into a deeper mess)

So I try to find a place to scrap down my longing,

more like a story book for myself..
until I could call my current place as a home..


*not bad, right? good memory should be cherished anyway.. :)